Influence

It's difficult being a woman and having a daughter. It's hard for me to think about the things she'll probably go through in life. Body image is such a huge struggle that so many women, myself included, face every day. And it breaks my heart knowing that someday this innocent little baby will deal with those same struggles.

After pregnancy, my body changed a lot. I cried when my stretch marks started to appear. I applied cocoa butter religiously, and convinced myself that I would be okay if I ended up getting any. But I wasn't. I was so upset and frustrated that my body was permanently scarred with something considered ugly to society. I wanted to be one of those women who called them my battle scars or tiger stripes, but it was too hard, I hated them. I lost all of my pregnancy weight pretty quickly, but was left with these marks on my hips and stomach, and loose skin that reminds me of where my baby used to live.

But after the hormones calmed down a bit, and experiencing the joy of seeing my sweet baby girl grow, I'm realizing that although these feelings are reasonable and valid, they're very unnecessary. I need to set an example for her. I want her to grow up feeling completely loved, not because of how absolutely beautiful she is, but because she as a person is worthy of it. Why are we so quick to fall for the beauty standards society has set for us? Why do we believe that to be loved we must be beautiful or successful? I want so badly for Violet to grow up caring only about inner beauty. I want her to love herself despite her flaws.

Being one of the people in her life she'll see most growing up, how will she be that way if she sees me obsessing over my image? If I'm continuously putting myself down, she's going to pick up on that behavior. But if she sees me being confident in my own skin, and knowing how loved I am, maybe she'll grow to feel the same about herself. I know I can't protect her fully from these struggles, as they're something that we as humans just have to deal with sometimes. But I am her role model, I'm who she looks at to define being a woman, and I want to be the best influence on her that I can be.

♥