Journal Day #10 via Sometimes Sweet

Quite simply, what are you good at? All of us have particular strengths- what are yours? This week, talk about these talents, big or small. Ideas: discuss how you use these things in your daily life or job, how you discovered a knack for this or that, perhaps even touch on whether or not you are passionate about the things you're good at.

When I saw the prompt for this Journal Day, it almost made me nervous. I am usually much better at thinking of things I'm not good than things I do well. So I almost skipped it (again, oops). But I thought I actually should do this, it'll be good for me. I should rack my brain and come up with a few things I think that I'm good at, everyone should have a few! 

Here's what I thought up:

I can make my friends and family laugh.
I take really good care of my chihuahua child.
I really care about people and their feelings.
I'm good at cooking Italian food.
I'm pretty organized.
I'm so much better at talking to people than I used to be.
I'm usually prompt and on time.
I take really good care of my skin.
I'm good with kids.
I really enjoy helping people.
I always stay true to what I believe in, but also listen to and respect others' opinions.
I try my best to never judge people.
I'm confident I will make a good wife (soon!)

That's all I can think of, but that's more than I thought I would have, so I'm glad I made myself think of a few things. It's important to recognize the good qualities about ourselves, especially when insecurities tend to get in the way!

What are you good at?

Journal Day #5 via Sometimes Sweet

We all encounter challenges on a daily basis. You may consider yours something small, like having enough time in the day to accomplish everything you set out to do, or it may be a bit bigger- perhaps something you have to overcome mentally or emotionally, or even a struggle when dealing with a difficult person. Whatever the case, take a look at your daily life- what would you say is your biggest challenge? Or if you have a past struggle you were able to overcome, how did you do it? This week, write about a challenge you currently deal with on a day to day basis, or discuss one you managed to get past.

image via Tumblr

A struggle I currently deal with, and one I've been trying to overcome my entire life is anxiety.  And although I am able to say I've come very far since childhood, those old feelings do creep up on me from time to time. This is a really personal subject for me and something I've always felt insecure about, so I'm going to keep out all the hairy details and just explain this briefly.

When I was little, elementary and middle school age, was when my anxiety was at it's peak. And that's something really difficult for a kid to deal with because I didn't understand what it was and was too embarrassed/ ashamed to ask for help. I remember even going to school every day would make me feel so nervous, sometimes to the point of throwing up in the bathroom and not telling anyone. When another student would try to talk to me, or if the teacher would call on me to answer a question, I would feel shaky and my mind would just go blank. It was an awful thing to deal with every day and I was pretty miserable in any social situation, which lead to feelings of depression. 

Fast forward to high school. The summer before freshman year started I finally was brave enough to ask for help, I had gone through too much on my own I was done denying that anything was wrong to my parents. I was able to realize that I wasn't crazy and my problem was something pretty common, I just had anxiety. I learned a lot of ways to get passed these feelings and start feeling more normal in everyday situations. When school started I was able to make a few friends, had a boyfriend, and could talk to people in my classes normally without feeling nervous the entire time. I even remember I was able to say a speech in front of my class once without pretending to be sick that day or even getting too scared, a huge accomplishment for me. 

But even though I was able to take the edge off the anxiety, it still is able to find it's way back once in a while. After my first real breakup Junior year, I found myself feeling that way again. Most of the friends I had made were mutually through my boyfriend, and since I broke up with him they all took his side and stopped talking to me. I felt alone and friendless just like I had when I was younger. And going to school became hard again. This probably lasted a little over a month. But I had gotten so much stronger since it all started and realized, I do have my own friends. I don't need a boyfriend to cling on to to feel comfortable. I can make new friends without him. And that's how I knew I was stronger than before, simply because I was able to think positively about the situation, which made me able to change the situation. 

I really feel like that was the my "breaking point" in having anxiety. Finding out I was able to pull myself out of a shitty situation all on my own. And like I said, the feelings do come once and a while, and they probably always will when I'm dealing with a hard time in my life, but every time they do I feel a little stronger than the last time, being able to talk myself out of the feelings, and now having people I feel comfortable going to when I do need an extra hand.

Journal Day #4 via Sometimes Sweet.

If you had unlimited resources, what political or social issue, or area of scientific or medical exploration would you fund? Do you have a cause that is near and dear to your heart that you'd put your time, energy, and money into if you had the means? Tell us about it, along with a bit of background explaining where you're coming from.

This one took some serious thinking for me because there are so many political issues I feel passionate about, and so many organizations that need help; eating disorders, homeless people, cancer, hunger, I don't think I could pick just one. If I did have unlimited resources and a ton of money, there would be quite a few causes I would fund.

The first thing that came to mind is children's hospitals. Kids who are born with some type of disease, or develop one when they're still young. It makes me feel so sad to see photos of little kids who's lives are sitting in hospital beds all day. I can't imagine how hard that must be for them. Being a child should be about playing and being carefree, and no kid deserves a life like that. I know this is reality and there will always be sick kids no matter what, but if I could, I would donate tons of money toward research to help cure some of the sicknesses.

Another cause I feel strongly about is equal marriage rights. I know this is a huge controversy right now, but I just can't wrap my mind around why it would ever be illegal, and why so many people are fighting to keep it illegal. Every human being on this earth deserves the same rights. Period. And if I had the power, I would do anything I could to continue making this issue go away.

If you know me, you know I absolutely love animals. So much. They are such amazing, selfless, loving creatures. And it breaks my heart knowing how many of them are homeless, starving, or being abused. There are a lot of animal shelters out there working hard to bring this problem down, but it's an issue that needs a lot of work. There just are not enough loving homes for pets as there are (domestic) animals in this world, yet there are still people out there breeding their animals to make money. I will always adopt animals instead of buy them, and I will always encourage people I know to do the same.

The last cause I thought of is sex slavery. Or any kind of slavery for that matter. Even here in America, there is a shocking amount of sex slavery happening. It seems so crazy knowing there are girls my age out there, in what's supposed to be a safe country, being forced into things like that. Luckily, this is an issue a lot of people are working to take care of, and there are even a lot of ways we can help. 

At times, it seems like it requires unlimited resources and funds to help these problems, but there are small things anyone can do to help any of these causes. Simply look online and see what is available for you to help out. If everyone out there did a small gesture, it would make a huge difference. And if there is something you feel passionate about, you should do all in your power to try to make a difference. 

Journal Day #2 via Sometimes Sweet

We all have songs that really mean something to us. Often just hearing it can take us right back to that place and we are able to re-experience the memory associated with the song. Sometimes good, sometimes bad, but either way music has the ability to really draw things out of us and evoke deep emotion. Choose a song that has a particular meaning to you. Tell the story of the memory associated with the song, sharing as much detail as you can. Take us there; let us experience it with you.

This journal entry is kind of an unintentional part two of my Journal Day #1 because it picks up right where that one left off. 

It's September 2011, Joe and I just made our relationship official and are new boyfriend and girlfriend. I remember he texted me one morning telling me that Blink-182, a favorite of both of ours, was going to be in Tempe in a week. With it only being a couple hours away, and me never never had seen them live before, we absolutely had to go. We went online and bought the tickets. We were both so excited. Not only to see Blink, but this would be our first little day trip together!

Joe and I, being our incredibly nerdy selves, went to Hot Topic at our mall the morning of the show and bought matching Blink Bunny tee shirts. We even agreed to both wear our black TOMS to match! We then hit the road on our way to see the show! I was driving, so I remember Joe saying he was going to put on Blink-182 radio on Pandora to get us in the mood! So that's what we listened to the whole way down. We were on the I-17, when all I can remember is laughing so, so hard. Joking around and just having  so much fun together. When ever I think back at these times I always wonder why we laughed so hard at the dumbest things. Like the vinyl Blink Bunny toy we got free with our tee shirts, we decided to name Niles and kept giving him weird voices and making him say weird things. Don't ask haha.

Another strange detail we both remember about that drive is Joe sticking a TOMS flag out the car window (the little ones that come with the shoes) and telling me to roll the window up to hold it in place. And instead of up I accidentally rolled the window down and the blue flag just flew away, and for some reason that was so hilarious to us and we laughed uncontrollably for way too long. And to this day, whenever we pass that part of the freeway, Joe always says, "This is where we lost our TOMS flag." And I love that so much. 

The point of this whole story is the song Always by Blink-182. It was the song playing in the background when this oh-so-hilarous incident happened. And even though I didn't really notice it at the time, that song is what brings that little memory back into my mind, every single time. And now whenever I hear that song, the way I felt that day all comes back; the nervous butterflies when you really really like someone, and the carefree giggles that were non-stop that whole car ride.

We went on this trip to see Blink-182 live, but the real memories were the fun we had together on the drive there, and I love that I have this song as a kind of souvenir from that day.

I love this song so much.



More info on Journal Day.

Journal Day #1 via Sometimes Sweet

One of my favorite blogs Sometimes Sweet just started doing a "Journal Day," where she will post a prompt on her blog, and you are supposed to write an entry based off of it. I jumped at the opportunity to do this because not only is it a great encouragement to start actually writing, but Danielle was my English teacher my sophomore year of high school, and she did that exact same Journal Day! I really loved walking into her classroom and seeing a new prompt written on the white board. I loved having fifteen minutes to just write whatever I was feeling (we didn't have to do her prompt, we didn't even have to write properly! She was the best teacher!) It was nice having a few moments a week in school to be able to forget about grades and writing perfectly and just be able to write for ourselves. Even though I will admit that sometimes I would just write complete nonsense, see above, haha!

So for the very first out of high school Journal Day, this is the prompt:

Everyone has a time in their life they view as a crossroad. Sometimes you can see it as it's happening, and you're able to choose one way or another. Other times you may not realize you're there until you look back, and see what a turning point it really was. This week, write about a time you view as a marker in your life; a distinct place where things changed, for better or worse. 

One of the biggest turning points in my twenty years was when I met Joe. I remember it was during my care-free "don't care what people think" phase. I was eighteen, on my own, and just wanted to be free. I enjoyed going to parties, sleeping until noon, and I'll admit to it now, playing rough with boys' hearts. I was happy and had no plan to change.

Fast forward through about eight months of these days, it's mid June and I'm at a friend's house playing beer pong when I receive a new friend request on Facebook from someone I didn't recognize. I accepted the request and started looking through this guy's photos. I decided to be brave and send this Joe guy a message. We chatted about nothing for the rest of the night and I ended the online conversation with giving him my phone number. Not something I did often until recently, I did it too much. 

I woke up to a text the next morning from a strange Vermont number asking to hang out. We agreed to meet at Starbucks that evening. He was bringing a friend, I'd bring my sister. We walked into Starbucks when I saw Facebook guy sitting there holding an iPhone and laughing with his friend. My very first thought was that he's NOT from around here! Skinny jeans, TOMS, and an army green jacket. We sat down with them and all said things you say when first meeting someone. Joe is from Vermont. He just moved here a few months ago. He is twenty-one. He's obsessed with Apple products. 

As cheesy as it sounds, I knew right away he was special and I wanted to be with him.

But things didn't happen that neatly. I ignored my strong feelings for him and refused to let them be real. I didn't want a relationship, I was having too much fun. I was hurt pretty badly by a guy only a year prior and wasn't ready to trust someone. But unlike any other guy I had a "thing" with at that time, Joe kept reappearing. I kept feeling the desire to talk to him and be with him. Something I hadn't felt for someone in a long time. But my stubbornness kept it from turning into anything real. I just kept insisting to myself that he was just going to be like everyone else, so I just ignored him.

Joe was the most persistent guy I had ever come across. Everyone else had given up on my games, and I didn't blame them! But Joe always insisted on dates and long phone conversations. We even joke about it sometimes, how even when I was rude and acted uninterested, he tells me now he could see right passed it and was willing to put up with it. And to this day that is something that I am so happy he did. 

I finally agreed to be his girlfriend in September. I gained a boyfriend, a best friend, and someone I soon realized I couldn't live without. And although most decisions in your life need to come from only you, this particular one was pushed from someone else. And I couldn't be more thankful that there was someone who came along and made the right choice for me when I wasn't able to myself.

So there's my first Journal Day! I'm glad I decided to do this and cannot wait to see what the next prompt will be! If you want to join in on Journal Day too, click here for more info on it!